How a Very Fake Knife Almost Ended My Very Real Life

I have been to many schools over the years. I grew up in Texas, lived in Detroit for a while and spent the rest of my time in Pennsylvania. Throughout those years I experienced many different things relating to emergency procedures at school. In Texas we had tornado drills. Detroit...I was home schooled so I didn`t really have an emergency procedures in place. And, when I was in PA the college I went to had many different things in place to ensure our safety...

Now, I live in Japan and things are no different. There are fire drills, earthquake drills, and tsunami drills. All, are pretty common place and I have experienced something similar during my time in school. My school, also has stranger drills. If someone comes to school with a weapon with the intent of hurting someone there are things the teachers do to contain that person. Again, I understand the need and see it`s purpose.

What makes this story different is how I was asked to play the stranger on the school grounds. This idea was obviously kept a secret, just as the exact time and date of a fire drill, if only to insure its effectiveness. I was approached by a teacher and asked if I would be OK for me to play the stranger...I very quickly agreed and began to plan what I would do.

The teacher and I went through a mock run of what I supposed to do, a dress rehearsal if you will. We planned where I would go, what I would do, and my weapon of choice; a homemade knife made of paper and aluminum foil. (The foil of course adding to the realism of a blade.)

I had my plan, I was in position, and was waiting for my signal. I pulled the hood up on my jacket over my head and pulled it snugly down. A mask, usually used for people with colds was secured on my face with only my eyes noticeable. And the homemade knife, nicely slid up the sleeve of my jacket. Then, it happened. I saw the signal, it was time for me to move.

I quickly made my way up a short flight of stairs and proceeded to throw open a sliding door. Students, unsure of what was going on jumped and began to make their way to the safety of the exit. The teacher (obviously playing the part) slid desks in front of me as I yelled and cut the air with my paper knife. I knocked a few desks over and pushed my way to the main hallway eager to chase down anyone I could find.

Then I saw it, a pack of teachers running at me at full force. Two had chairs that they used like a lion tamer, hoping to hold me back. While a third wield a 7 foot long poll with a padded `u` shaped device at the end to subdue me.

Then a forth teacher appeared. Obviously, she was in shock. The look of terror on her face was not the same look the other teachers had. She was in protection mode and was going to stop me no matter what. I could see that she was unarmed but she was scanning the hallway for something that could be used as a weapon. Then she saw it...a red fire extinguisher fastened to the wall. She asked one of the other teachers what to do...should she pull it off the wall...throw it in my direction...perhaps empty it contents to confuse me...yet somehow she could not budge it from its location.

That`s when my focus shifted. I no longer could focus on my imminent death. From my right side came a yell and the painfull jab of yet another `u` shaped poll attack. One more teacher had circled around the school and caught me by surprise. This was not in the plan that I had walked through earlier! Things where quickly running away from me and my fake screams quickly became real yells and panic.

Then as fast as the drill had began it ended. All the actors had played their part and the students had been ushered to safety. The `stranger` had been contained and the teachers were triumphant...all but one. The one teacher who had not been in on the `joke`. She was exghaushted, panting, trying to catch her breath, and regain her bearings.

I quickly removed my disguise and revealed who I was under the mask. The panic left her face and she began to put together the events of the past few minuets. Her realization as to who the `stranger` was sent her into remorse and she quickly began to apologize for her actions. These new revelations were of great relief to her.

On the other hand, I was relieved that she hadn`t been able to pull the fire extinguisher off the wall. If she would have been successfull...a very fake knife would have ended my very real life...

It's the little things

It's funny how the simplest of things can bring happiness into your day. Living abroad does something to a person. While I would argue it's something good, it's also something that isn't for everyone. Japan can be a crazy place to live sometimes. Especially for someone who is set in their ways (not saying me). Living in a country where very few people speak your language can sometimes be daunting. Walking into a grocery store to find shelves stocked full of products you have never seen before can be a huge shock. But, people do it. Everyday millions of people around the globe wake up to a world where they are foriegners.

For me this move to Japan was based on many factors. Calling, desire, necessity for a job, and wanting to see the world beyond my front door. While I was able to prepare myself for the move I could have never planned the experiences thus far, the people I have met, or the atmosphere in which I live. As I said some people can't do this. The need to have every detail planned out, every question answered, and every problem worked through with its solution. Sometimes, we have no answers for our questions, or they take a long time to come to you.

The past couple years of my life have been a strange mixture of joy, pleasure, sadness, and regret. But, that mixture has brought me to where I am today. All of those things have brought clarity to my days, and while I still don't have answers to all my questions I know that God's plan is so much bigger that my desire to find clarity in life's complications.

To top it all off while shopping at an international grocery store last night I found Kraft macaroni and cheese. Ya know, it's the little things that make the difference. Making lunch, doing laundry, listening to music, and enjoying some food from home, that's what my Japan looks, like today.

First Post From Japan

So, here it is...my first real blog post from Japan. As I have started to settle in here my thoughts have been swirling around in my head and many of them have made it to paper. What you are about to read were my thoughts from my first day in my school and working in the teachers office. Enjoy!

 It's funny that I work in a place where not that many people speak English. They are all having conversations but I'm just sitting here writing at my desk. I think I'm going to start reading my lesson plans...that way I'll at least look busy.

 I have a name plaque at my desk with my name on it. It's in Japanese...but I can recognize the katakana.

 Well, that went well...I introduced myself to the school. It was in English and Japanese. So, that's something! My desk is wicked short. I lowered the seat but that made me about a foot shorter than everyone else around me. I know...big problem!

 I just made a ton of flowers with some of the teachers and hung them around the school. Not sure what else is going to happen but so far it has been fun!

 Everyone is doing something...I keep writing and thinking that I should be doing more. (Name omitted) said I would only be teaching 1 or maybe 2 classes a day.

 That's a long day if I'm here 6 hours or so...maybe not. I'll have to see what my schedule looks like. I was just part of an induction ceremony...I think. I was in the teachers room making coffee when someone came and got me. The schedule i have is all in Japanese...But now, back to coffee!

 Just had lunch. Talked to the people at my desk about where I lived and and what I like to eat...popularity is not something I'm used to.

 I was reading my lesson plans when one of the teachers started showing me pictures of the students. Followed by point out which students were the bet...yep! haha Then I talked about the Sakura...they will bloom soon, I am very excited!

 When I was a kid I always thought the teachers room was some magical place that the teachers hung out, talked about students, and smoked...so far...it's nothing like that!

 On hour left in my first day! I made flowers, introduced myself in Japanese, went to a ceremony, talked to my desk mates, and hung out in the teachers room. It's going to take some work with everyones name...their name tags are all in Katakana...mine is the only in Romanji.

 Just a half an hour to go...oh gosh...I just laugh and nod my head a lot. Funny thing is I can tell when people are talking about me. I'm pretty sure they think I'm strange...pretty fair assessment!

Why I Didn't Watch the Grammys

First off let me state that I love music. I've always loved it. From the day I got my, "My First Sony" radio/cassette player till I started using Spotify to listen to the newest stuff out there. I also have played in many bands...nothing crazy but I've performed live. I kinda feel like I know what I'm talking about when I talk about music.

Secondly, I enjoy pretty much every type of music (remember dubstep isn't music). I respect any one who is going to sit down, take a life experience and turn it into music. It takes a lot of talent to do that. I love being able to sit down, and hear a story or see an artist paint a picture with words. For me it's very essential to making a great album.

The problem with the grammys is that they don't really celebrate why I love music. Rather the opposite. While I enjoy live performances I don't see the need for an over the top carnival stage show of someone "singing" their song. If the song is good enough to win an award why do I need to be distracted by someone floating around in the air?

Also I was watching the Detroit Red wings win 20 games in a row at home against the Flyers. I was then watching the Walking Dead.

Sometimes...there are things more important than music. Click here to find out what!

Saturday Morning Post

There are so many subjects that I would love to talk about. Politics, religion, and of course Japan. The problem is those first two things tend to get people really heated. So, this is why I focus on the third so often. That is why I will be talking about all three! So, settle in. Grab a cup of coffee or tea...it's story time!

Shortly after I got back from Japan in 2008 I interviewed at a church to be their new youth pastor. I had been in contact with them a couple times while I was in Japan and they wanted to wait till I got back in the states before they made their decision. This way they could talk to me in person, ask me questions, etc.

I was still coming off my Japan high when I settled into the interview. Which, might I add wasn't just between me and the pastor. I sat down at a table 14 people...no lie. This is not a good idea. Mostly because it feels like you are on trial. It also gives people a forum to ask questions that shouldn't ask questions. (This is where the real story begins!)

As I sat down at the table I started to look around at the 14 or so people seated around me. All various ages, backgrounds, and personality types. There was a woman there who just scowled at me the whole time. Some youth who looked like they had been forced to be there. The head pastor was there, and then there was...lets call him Jim. Jim was an older man, I would say in his 80's. He had his own oxygen and was proudly wearing his World War 2 hat and bomber jacket.

I knew right away that Jim wasn't going to like anything I had to say about Japan. And, I was right. Towards the end of the interview (which didn't really seem like it went all that well in the first place) the senior pastor asked if there were anymore questions. This was Jim's chance. I shifted in his chair, sat himself a little more upright than before, looked at me, and asked, "Why do you want to live in Japan so much?" Everyone in the room could tell that this was going to turn ugly.

You see, Jim didn't ask me the question because he cared for the people of Japan like I do. Nor did he care that I had just come back from a completely life changing trip. But, to my surprise, Jim continued, "Because every time I watch them play baseball, all I can see is them throwing grenades and killing my friends!" At that point the interview was over! I was quickly escorted out of the room like I was the president heading for a bomb shelter.

Seriously though, this threw me. But, this wasn't the first time this has happened to me. After I returned from Japan the first time my grandmother told me that she was "glad my grandfather was dead, because he wouldn't have liked me going over there". For me people like Jim have the right to be angry. I'm pretty sure he saw a lot more than I will ever see. He was probably 18 years old when he was sent off to war. I thankfully have never had to do that and I honestly don't know if I could. He (and many others) have experienced a lot that I haven't. But, that doesn't make him better than me.

I'm saying all this because of one thing. There are a lot of politicians who want to use their religion as a means of pushing their hatred upon others. They see their faith as a means to change our country into this Christian utopia. They want to pass laws that make hate legal. They want to oppress people because they think that being gay is worse than whatever sin is in their own life. They want to invade other countries and kill thousands of people to make my life "safer". They want to pass laws that would allow the president to control everything we say and do (because I'm obviously not smart enough to think for myself). There are those who want to just throw endless amounts of money into inner cities instead of educating people.

I'm honestly not sure why I am posting this...I guess I'm just tired of Christians using politics and their religiousness as a way of promoting hate. Yes, there are things that are sins. But, lets show some consistency. Because if you are going to hold up a sign that says "God hates fags!" then hold up a sign that also says "God hates murdering innocent people". Or "God hates when we give billions of dollars to corporations who waste it on vacations" or "God hates when we think it's OK to leave 2 of our wives to marry the woman we cheated with".

Am I asking too much? Probably, but I will ask one other thing. That you donate money to me...I promise that 100% of it will go into my bank account to help fund my trip to Japan. And, I won't use it to promote hate or anything like that!

Show the Money to Me!

I put up a bunch of stuff on Craigslist, the social media site for people named Craig. Just don't tell anyone my name isn't Craig.

Here are the links to the stuff I'm selling. Please note that the money is going to fund my trip to Japan as well as a growing happy meal toy addiction.

PS3 Listing

Ipod Listing

Sega Genesis Listing

And if you don't want any of my cool stuff that I touched...click here and just "Show the money to me!"

Post 100...Is About Japan...Big Surprise!

I was going through some files on my computer last night and came across a lot of cool things. Mostly, old poems I wrote in high school, none oh which I will be sharing! But, instead I came across an essay that I wrote about wanting to live and work in Japan. I know, that most of you have heard it, read it, or tried to get me to stop talking about Japan...but it's not going to happen anytime soon!

With post 100 I thought I would share with you that essay. I hope you enjoy it and I hope that you continue to keep reading! Moving to Japan isn't going to be an end of my blog but a new beginning...cheesy as that sounds. So, instead of boring you with words...here is the essay.


From the age of ten I have always had a fascination with Japanese culture. I’m not sure how to explain it other than saying that this passion didn’t come from my surroundings. I grew up in Texas, about as far away from Japan as you can be! I taught myself how to use chopsticks and wouldn’t eat a meal without them. As I got older I realized that my passion for Japan coupled with my compassion for helping and teaching others was a perfect fit. When I was eighteen I got the opportunity to go on a trip to Japan. I had just graduated high school and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. While I was in Japan I quickly began to realize that this was the place I needed to be. I immediately fell in love with the people I encountered and the spirit of Japan took me over.

It wouldn’t be for another eight years that I would once again get the chance to visit Japan. Once again my trip was a sign that Japan was where I needed to be. The summer I spent in 2008 was memorable for many reasons, mainly the children I got to work with while I was there. Being able to teach and interact with kids made everyday worth waking up early for. There wasn’t a night that I wasn’t out exploring the city, finding new places to eat, or stopping by a vending machine to experience something new.

For me, Japan has been a place for me to experience life in a completely new and exciting way. It has allowed me to see the person I am inside; adventurous and excited to try new things. Unfortunately for my friends here in the states it makes them hesitant to even bring up the subject of Japan for fear of me sharing another story. Going to Japan for me always reminds me of when I was child on Christmas morning. There is always an excitement of the unknown and the thrill of adventure.
Living and working in Japan would be a dream come true and a life experience that I would be proud of. Japan makes me feel like I’m a part of something bigger than myself. I have always felt welcome in Japan as if I were returning home from a long trip. Living in Lancaster Pennsylvania has made it hard for me to find good Japanese food, so I always make sure that I try and experience as many different types of foods while I’m in Japan, not limited to my eating of natto.

As I said before Japan has always been a great host to me and teaching in Japan would be something that I would never forget. As for teaching in Japan, I love being able to work with students and help them grasp the difficulties associated with learning a new language. No matter the age of the student we are never too old to learn new things. Being in Japan would afford me the opportunity to not only teach, but to be taught.

Click here if you want to help save baby animals from... poison...factory jobs...or something!