I originally called my blog "Remembering My Dreams" because I had just go through a really stupid breakup. I will not bore you with any of the details but I felt the title was fitting. Granted it is a bit "emo" but that's just something I will have to live with. But, it held importance to me. During that relationship I felt like I had been putting my dreams on hold. I was suppressing myself as to not offend certain parties with my dreams. When things ended I realized that I free to pursue my dreams once again. My dream had always been to live in Japan. At times that plan wasn't very clear or focused (read the above paragraph again). But in 2010 when things ended new things began. I graduated college in December and began focusing on finding employment in Japan. It wasn't until the end of 2011 that I had an interview, job offer, and in March of 2012 I moved. Now, I'm quickly approaching the 5 year mark of my journey to Japan. I almost can't even believe that it's been 5 years. All those years of dreaming and hoping have led me here. Something I've dreamed about for as long as I can remember. Looking back it's easy for me to see all the small things that fell into place, all the experiences that have led me here. Five years ago I wasn't the same person I am today. I was immature (I mean I still am but just in different ways), I wasn't as cynical and grouchy as I was...wait...these were supposed to be good qualities! Anyway, I've grown over the past 5 years. There is a verse, Ecclesiastes 3, or you probably know the song by The Bryds Turn, Turn, Turn
The verses in the song parallel the Bible verses well.
A Time for Everything
1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
I post all that stuff to say this. Not all things are meant to last. Relationships, whether friendships or romantic don't always last. And that's OK! One of the hardest things I've had to learn in my life is to let go of things. Sometimes, it's people we love. Sometimes it's places that make us feel comfortable. Sometimes it's emotions that hold us back and keep us stuck in our same routines.
In another 5 years who knows. Will I look back at this time and laugh at how immature I was? I probably will! I'm OK with that. I hope that my life is different then. I'm not saying that I don't like who or what or where I am now. I just hope that in 5 years I can look back with fondness for where my journey has taken me.
A time to laugh and a time to cry. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away...you know how the song goes.
