Tuesday, January 5, 2010

So this is the New Year...

Please excuse myself-deprecation and consider yourself warned. My new post for the New Year is not the typical, “Oh last year was so great” post. The past year was actually extremely trying, stressful, demanding, and yet I learned more this past year than any so far. So, if you want to know how last year really affected me…read on. If you don’t want to know the truth then stop here and go read something else. Thanks!

Many questions came up this year and many I found the answers to. One question was, “Who are really my friends?” This question bore itself out in many forms. I was brought closer to some of my friends than I ever thought. I opened up to my friends and was able to share things with them that I had only shared with maybe one other person. My friends are people that I can be myself around and not worry about them judging me. I love them for who they are, and they love me for who I am.

Another question that was asked, that I didn’t want answered, nor do I want answered was, “What really happened?”, And “Do you think she cheat on you?” I honestly want to believe that it didn’t happen. I honestly wish the whole thing would have never happened. Truth be told, the whole thing was a huge mistake. I was a fool to ever think that someone could change. I was naive to believe that someone could love me that way, to drag me along, have me question my own devotion, and then, leave it all behind. I was left to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, while others flaunted “moving on”. Again, as I’ve stated many times before, relationships take work and cooperation. Just be sure that if you find someone that you would die for…that they would at the very least consider returning the sentiment. You wanted me to change and that’s what you got. It’s honestly really quite sad that it didn’t last. But at least I can say I gave it my all. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

I don’t want you (the reader) to think that I’ve not taken anything away from this past year. I have learned so much. I have learned that when all else fails, God is always there. It’s going to sound cliché I know, but it’s very true. When everything was falling apart, when life was at its worst, when I couldn’t trust anyone, God was there and sorted everything out. I wouldn’t change that for anything.

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